Feel
by Teagan
Summary: ONE SHOT-SLASH-Implied HarrySnape-‘People die in war Harry, and if you say nothing, if you feel nothing, you are not human...'


Severus Snape died only three days into the war. Harry Potter wasn't surprised or even affected, as far as anyone could tell.

'_He hated him, I mean who didn't?' one younger wizard said. _

'_They hated each other. I used to hear them fight all the fucking time! They had a tent right next to me.' _

When Severus Snape died, Remus Lupin took his position and shared a tent with Harry Potter. Harry never mentioned Snape. Even if Lupin would comment on something that could turn into a conversation about him.

'_Harry, is this yours?' Lupin asked holding up a long sliver chain. _

'_No. It's not mine.' Harry said calmly, as he turned around and adjusted his robes. _

So it wasn't a problem that the Potions Master was gone. Though people had suspected they were closer, with all the time they had spent together, it was obvious the rumors weren't true.

But one time as Lupin came out for night watch he found Harry holding a long sliver chain in his hand. The one that Lupin has asked him about earlier that week.

'_Harry?' Lupin asked. _

_Harry quickly shoved the chain into his pocket and stood up, and turned to face his partner. 'Yes, Captain?' _

'_Harry no one's here, don't call me that.' _

_Harry looked away for a moment and then walked forward. 'Have a good night, Captain.' Harry said leaving him to his watch station. _

'_You too .' Lupin whispered._

Lupin began to suspect something was not quite right when Harry began to have nightmares again. When He would toss and turn and roll over reaching for something; someone, who wasn't there.

Lupin would try to calm him, but he seemed unable to wake. Stuck somewhere between a world of nightmares, and the world of reality.

This turned out to be not much different than the world of his nightmares.

'_Harry.' Lupin said as he shook the younger wizard. 'For Merlin's sakes you're dreaming..'_

_Harry snapped up and took a deep breath, as though he had just submerged from a body of water. 'Remus…I…' He panted as he wiped his forehead and looked around. 'I didn't mean to wake you. 'He muttered, as he stood. _

'_Maybe you should ask the next medi-witch you see for a Sleeping Draught.' Lupin suggested._

_Harry sighed and walked out of the tent. 'Go back to sleep Remus.' He mumbled walking out of the tent. The older wizard said nothing to convince Harry further._

_And as Lupin crawled back onto his cot he tried to block the sound out of Harry vomiting. _

Harry did seem more bothered now than he ever had. The strange nightmares, the necklace of sliver, his sudden lifelessness.

Lupin decided it was time to talk. It was time to find some answers.

'_Why don't you talk about Snape, Harry?' _

_Harry huffed angrily and shot Lupin a nasty glare. 'For god sakes, will you stop mothering me?' _

'_There is nothing wrong with admitting you miss him, or at very least you wish he wasn't dead!' Lupin snapped. _

_Harry said nothing as Lupin waited for him to say something; anything in return. _

'_People die in war Harry, and if you say nothing, if you feel nothing, you are not human. It's human to feel Harry. Don't let yourself be fooled and think it's wrong to feel.' _

'_I miss him…' Harry said so quietly, Lupin wasn't sure if he had even spoken. _

'_There's nothing wrong with that Harry.' Lupin told him. _

'_I wish he wasn't dead.' Harry said a bit louder. _

'_I do as well.' Lupin said. _

'_I loved him.' _

_Lupin wasn't quite sure what to say to that. _

'_Harry, I…'_

_Harry turned and looked Lupin right in the eye and stared at him until Lupin was sure r he was going to be hit by the younger wizard. _

'_If to feel is normal, why do I feel so abnormal?' Harry hissed. _

_Lupin said nothing in return, and as Harry moved away, he swore he saw something like a tear drop slide down the Harry's face. _

Severus Snape died only three days into the war. Harry Potter wasn't surprised or even affected, as far as anyone could tell.

But Remus Lupin knew better.

Maybe that's way he wasn't surprised when he found Harry dead , by his own doing, a few weeks later.


End file.
